Things take time...

Time always seems to be the enemy, every waking moment I always seem to be wondering what I need to do, what I have done wrong, and how I am going to fix what I am currently stuck with. It seems that the last month has just been a vortex of questioning, doubting, and unclear-thinking. I can't seem to put my finger on it but last night I came up with a theory. It seems as if I have lost my emotions. I haven't been feeling earnestly happy nor sad. I've been spending most of my energy wondering if I am acting like a normal human being. Pointing your finger on whether or not you're happy or sad is really the only way to feel human. If you feel you are neither you're probably drifting away from what most people call reality. These ideas keep playing in a seemingly infinite loop in my head. I am trying to find some type of meaning in it all, thinking there might be something chemically wrong with me or maybe I am just so disillusioned by everything that has happened to me in the last year my brain has decided to go onto sleep mode. Every night I go to bed wondering if I am going to wake up feeling NORMAL. I want to feel sad, I want to feel happy, I want to feel something... It just doesn't seem like either of those things are legitimate feelings anymore. Yes, I might be thinking to hard, and no I am not taking any ... So, why? that's what I am trying to figure out.